It’s sad to think that many people that participate in bondage have actually never heard of aftercare. We personally think that the importance of aftercare should be included in bondage for beginners’ book, as it’s definitely part of bondage 101. Aftercare is the task of not only physically caring for your partner after a scenario, but also emotionally bringing them back to a state of calm and relaxation. Scenarios can be extremely taxing for your submissive, and that’s why you should always focus on aftercare and making it an important part of your scenario’s routine. Without it, there’s a good chance your submissive will never want to come back and join you again for another session, as you simply aren’t taking care of the whole part of them.
What Does Aftercare Include, Anyway?
Aftercare is a great number of things, and while it might be part of bondage 101, that doesn’t mean that it’s all common sense to most people in general. Aftercare be can particularly difficult for people to grasp if they have never actually participated in a bondage scenario before, so keep this in mind and do your research before jumping head first into a situation that you haven’t taken the time to fully research. Aftercare is extremely important, and that means that you should research it as much as you’ve spent time researching how to tie those fancy rope knots around your partner’s wrists. Keep this in mind, and you will both be much happier in your sex life.
Aftercare is not just the physical care of your partner after a scenario, though that constitutes a great deal of it as well. Aftercare of your partner’s physical state includes untying them and caring for any bruises, cuts, or blisters that they might have incurred. It includes cleaning up the mess of any sex acts that occurred, and helping them into a comfortable position for all of this to happen. It can even include something as simple as getting them a glass of water if they request it, or anything else that they need after an intense session. Again, this isn’t all in bondage 101, so we understand that many people simply don’t think of doing these things, but they are all extremely important things all the same.
While aftercare has a lot to do with the physical, it also includes the mental care of your partner after a session has happened. This includes talking them down from whatever mental state they have gone into, as many submissives actually reach something of a loop, where they can only answer to your commands, or become simply inconsolable with their crying. Telling them how well they did, how proud you are of them, and how happy you are that they played with you are many ways to help calm them down from their subspace and bring them back to the real world. Calling them by their real name usually helps in situations like this. It will help them settle down and relax once more. This might take some time in order to happen, so don’t be surprised if you have to spend more time with this aspect of aftercare than anything else. There should be quite a bit of talking, gentle touches, and comforting in order to bring your partner back into the mental state of being that is separate from what they experience during an intense bondage scenario.
As we’ve said before, while we believe that aftercare should be included all in bondage 101, it just isn’t. That’s why it’s important to discuss your partner’s needs and to do your research beforehand. Properly discussing their needs will make it much easier to figure out what exactly it is they need out of their aftercare session, and can warn you properly about any particular quirks that they might have afterwards. By doing this, you will both be fully prepared for the situation at hand. Also, make sure that you get the bondage basics right. Rope Is Rope? – Nope! A Bondage For Beginners Guide. Get the right advice and you will be fine.
Skimping on Aftercare Makes for Bad Situations
If you are the dominant in the scenario, skimping on aftercare basically is saying that you have a blatant disregard for your sub’s well-being, both in a mental and physical sense. As we stated before, not giving your submissive the proper aftercare will result, most likely, in the loss of your partner entirely. This sort of behavior simply isn’t acceptable, and you will end up gaining a reputation for simply not caring for your partners in the scene. A Dominant can be a great many things, but selfish and uncaring to his submissive is something that should never be an occurrence. This doesn’t just apply to bondage; it applies to every aspect of sex, and it will certainly not earn you any favors in the bedroom in future.
Remember that while your submissive might want you to be cold, callous, and demanding during a scene, that does not include aftercare. Aftercare is the time after a scene is over, when you should be reverting back to your normal personas and regaining your separate agendas. Aftercare has absolutely nothing to do with the act of bondage (other than caring for any wounds that your submissive might have incurred from the act of bondage itself). It has absolutely nothing to do with being a cold, domineering Master, and all to do with caring for your lover and partner who has endured quite a bit in the scenario the two of you just completed. It is extremely important for you to be able to differentiate between these things in order to have a healthy relationship with your submissive and be able to enjoy bondage as much as the two of you truly want to.
More Subtle Acts of Aftercare
Your submissive might actually not enjoy the act of being doted on after their scenario, and that’s fine. That being said, there is still some aftercare to be had, and that can be done in the form of asking if there is anything that you can get them, or anything that you can do in order to make them comfortable. By asking, you are still giving them the aftercare that they need. Some submissives are actually quite competent after a scenario is all said and done, and that means that they will not be entrenched as deeply into subspace as many other submissives will be. It still means they need aftercare, but not the heavy, doting extent of it that many will request from their dominant.
There are many reasons to never neglect aftercare, and in general, it should just be a part of your routine. By discussing your partner’s exact needs, you will be able to find exactly what it is that you need to do in order to make them feel comfortable, happy, and very trusting in you as a dominant in your scenarios that the two of you have planned. It will make all of your scenarios go much better in the future as well, and in general, you will be able to have a much more satisfying sexual experience through bondage than you otherwise would when you are not caring properly for your partner as aftercare allows. Keep this in mind, and have a lot of fun in the future.